Why 80% of Women Only Date 20% of Men
Why women are more hyper selective
First, a minor cleanup.
I was at Eth-Denver last week and have copious notes of what went down—from new social media apps to the best-emerging cryptos to invest in and several psychedelic mushroom trips. It was a true Denver experience.
Expect my full breakdown next week and an article this Sunday covering Joe Biden’s State of the Union.
Spoilers: I like the part when he told everyone to pay their fair share of Taxes.
And now, for something completely different…
A new study shows 20% of men are having sex with 80% of women.
…sounds a little steep, right?
Maybe not.
In the study “Rules Of Attraction: Female Perception of Male Self-Representation in a Dating App,” researchers found that more than 80% of women liked only one profile out of 100.
The upshot is 80% of men are forced to compete against each other for a tiny pool of women while the bottom half of these men are flipping the board and giving up entirely.
Society is outraged and surprised; millions of articles ask, “Why is young male virginity at a record high and why are men dropping out of college?”
Here’s why.
80/20 Rule is Law in 2023
Many people will be typing furiously on their keyboards after this.
But here are some key findings from the study:
Men who are either significantly older or younger than their female counterparts receive lower ratings for attractiveness and fewer swipes. It’s in line with previous studies that reveal women don’t fancy huge age disparities.
Profiles without clear facial photos were liked a lot less.
You’ll end up in the bottom 10% of rejected male profiles if you don’t show a full candid photo of yourself.
Men aren’t rejected because they’re ugly; it’s because their photos are bad on their app or they had excessive photo editing.
It’s easier to predict the profiles that will be rejected than the ones that will be accepted.
Bro go outside; no one thinks like this.
This 80/20 ratio is total bullshit.
In normal circumstances, I’d agree. In fact, I do agree. Tinder is like Uber for fucking where outside of one-sentence profile descriptions, you only get consummate vapid pictures of someone’s life. It isn’t the optimal way to understand relationship dynamics.
But ONLINE is how Gen Z and Millennials date… and soon-to-be Gen Alpha.
A whopping 53% of people under 30 have used a dating site or app, compared to only 37% of the 30–49 age group, a measly 20% for 50–64-year-olds, and a minuscule 13% among those 65 and older, according to Pew Research.
Another study found that 2 in 5 young people say they met their partners through social media…
…the 80/20 ratio exists because social media and dating apps exist. It isn’t incels vs. everyone else; it’s literally a reflection of the way people date in our digital age. Sexy picture? No. Swipe left. OKCupid found the same 80/20 rule years ago. This isn’t new. Dating apps and social media are often superficial, but it’s where most people meet their partners.
The harsh reality is women have higher standards: they’re less likely to date someone without a college degree, they almost outright won’t date men who are unemployed, and they are far less single than the vast majority of young men.
All these things can be mitigated in person by talking.
Take a shower, get a haircut, and give a girl a firm handshake.
That’ll work… maybe not—but you have better odds in person than online. In this instant-gratification society, we’re dating more online, and online dating is bent toward superficiality and quick judgment.
Men Have No Value
Men and women live in different realities.
It boils down to the Big 5 Personality model: Women are traditionally higher in agreeableness and neuroticism, while men are higher in openness and conscientiousness.
This translates to more women knowing how to win the system than men.
It’s salient to understand this: Women are more likely to form relationships and move up the system, while men are riskier and more likely to drop out or be on the wrong side of the law. It’s why American colleges now enroll roughly six women for every four men (the largest male-female gap in history).
It’s also why women now have higher GPAs, make more money than men in most American cities, and why men are significantly more likely to drop out of college.
“The Left are effectively turning their backs on boys and men, and the Right are trying to turn back the clock on women and girls… we need a model of mature masculinity that is compatible with gender equality.”
— Richard Reeves, Author of “Of Boys and Men”
It’s easy for a man to drift without a life purpose.
You are competing with other men, so they are not interested in seeing you succeed. If you fall off, you get left behind.
It’s a key reason for this modern dating imbalance — many men are lost. It’s also why male figures — agree or disagree with them — like Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, David Goggins, Jocko Willink and Kevin Samuels have become so popular in the last few years. It’s like a dad that many men never had.
They speak to the power of self-improvement, ownership of your life, masculinity and how to approach and find a partner.
Final Thought
“A woman will forget what you say. She will forget what you did. But she will never forget the way you made her feel.”
— Maya Angelou
I read a Jessica Wildfire article months ago that said we need to teach more men that it’s okay to approach women and ask them out. It’s true.
It’s also easier said than done.
Countless men are scared shitless of rejection.
I think many women don’t get this: the terror. You feel unwanted and ugly. It stems from overthinking…or low self-esteem.
Really, though, anything is better than nothing. I even read Navy Seal Jocko Willink got his wife by saying, “Are you the goddess Aphrodite?” Pretty cringe. But it could be cute to the right person. You never know.
There are good men and women out there, but our modern isolationist technological-driven (and government psy-oped) autism prevents us from being together. It really sucks. So don’t expect fairness on a fucking hookup site.
Buck the trend.
“A woman will forget what you say. She will forget what you did…”
That Maya Angelou quote is an excellent demonstration of the fact that you can’t trust women to tell you anything true about women. The part I repeated above is so wildly and obviously false that I can’t believe she tried to get away with saying it. Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship with a woman knows that if you say or do something she doesn’t like, not only does she remember it forever, she’ll make sure you know she remembers by reminding you of it regularly forever.
My husband DMd me “I love you” on Facebook