The Black Pill: Why Incels Are Right And You Are Wrong

The most controversial book I read in 2021

Photo by Alex Lian on Unsplash

I’ve been reading a lot of controversial books lately.

Here are a few of them:

• 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want You to Read by Jesse Ventura

• The Truth About COVID-19: Exposing The Great Reset, Lockdowns, Vaccine Passports, and the New Normal

• The Unabomber Manifesto

• Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters by Abigal Shrier

• The Cat and the Hat (because as we all know Dr. Seuss is a giant racist)

I really recommend checking each of those, as they're not perfect, but they have some valuable insights.

However, no book has felt as polemical and freighting as “Why Incels are Right and You Are Wrong” by Dr. Castle.

The Truth About Incels

I didn’t know much about Incels before reading Dr. Castle’s book.

I knew some of the members were responsible for heinous crimes. I knew the term “incel” stood for involuntarily celibate (but I didn’t understand the ‘involuntary part’ of that nomenclature). And I knew the prevailing media-driven narrative was incels are the worst people on earth and deserve nothing but hatred.

When it came to incels, there were clear gaps to fill in. So I decided to give “Why Incels are Right & You Are Wrong” a read.

After finishing it… there are some interesting conclusions I’d like to hear your thoughts about in regards to incels, dating, male/female standards, and online dating apps.

What is an Incel and Why Are They ‘Evil?’

The book defines incels as, individuals who do not have sex, regardless of how much they might want to, as opposed to others who simply chose to refrain from intercourse (voluntary celibate).

Incels are men who are physically unattractive and have bad social skills. This has made them bitter towards society.

Contrary to what I was led to believe about incels, they desire emotional intimacy more than sex. They want companionship and are bitter when they don’t get it. Incels, then, take “the Black Pill,” which refers to accepting the knowledge that you have no chance in the modern dating landscape.

An incel believes only good-looking guys with six-packs get girls; only rich millionaires get girls; only those who were born with good genetics get girls.

I found a post by a self-proclaimed incel online that seemed to put everything into perspective:

I try to be normal, and it only reconfirms the black pill.

I make a Tinder account pretending to be a good looking guy account, and it reconfirms the black pill. (they call good looking guys “Chads”)

I try to overcome my mental illness, and it reconfirms the black pill.

I see womens height preference in studies, confirming my experience in real life, on tinder, reconfirming the black pill.

Incels are just virgins who despise modern dating—and to be fair, they have good reason to. Nearly one-third of the male population under 30 are virgins or incel. Moreover, that number has tripled in the last 10 years and is still rising.

In the wake of the birth control pill young women have steadily outpaced men in the number of sexual experiences. And if you have any familiarity with Pareto distributions, you’ll understand that although more women are having sex, they are only selecting the top 20% of men on the market.

It didn’t help that around this time men started playing more video games, watching more anime, and masturbating to unprecedented amounts of filthy obscene porn.

Can you believe there’s even something called Brazilian Fart porn? Click at your serious peril.

Dating in 2022 Isn’t Fun

Incels did not ask to be born with undesirable faces, mental illness, bad genetics, and loner personalities that were likely reinforced during their adolescent years.

They aren’t victims, but they were dealt a bad hand. This is especially true of men who were born with a disability or handicapped. Unfortunately, in the current dating landscape, this is fatal.

Studies show women are much more selective than men in picking their matches.

Dating website OkCupid found that their female userbase found 80% of men unattractive. Tinder found that men who were more educated were twice as likely to receive matches. This, in large part, is due to hypergamy.

Hypergamy is an evolutionary psychological theory that explains that women date up and across hierarchies. Here’s an excerpt from a 2004 published study on the evolution of human mate choice —

“Across age, ethnic status, and socioeconomic status, women preferred husbands who were better educated than they were and who earned more money than they did.

Although the details of how success is achieved can vary from one setting to the next, culturally successful men have high reproductive potential and high reproductive success.”

There’s an old adage that says a man needs a six-pack, making six figures and six feet in height to land a high-value woman (666). Funny enough, the average height of U.S. presidents is 5 foot 10 inches, and the top searched phrase during the 2016 primaries was “How tall is Jeb Bush?”

I’m not sure how true the six-pack, six figures, and six feet philosophy is — but I do know the opposite is false. A Huffington Post article all but confirms that…

“Naturally, we don’t date the Bottom 10, and with good reason. Your personal Bottom 10 is a no-fly zone. If you feel repelled by someone, there is no overcoming that feeling, no matter how great of a person he is.”

Why I Don’t Agree With Incels, But Understand Their Plea

In internet culture, there are three pills of significance based on the widely popular Matrix films. Here’s what they mean in regards to the current dating landscape —

• The Bluepiller places social niceties and politeness above all. They’re “nice guys.” They hardly go against the grain and one might argue they live in a state of blissful ignorance.

• Redpillers are men who exercise a refined attitude towards women that is based on “game.” The ethos of redpillers is seeing through the illusionary difficulty of modern dating.

• Blackpillers simply accept that women are attracted to whatever they are attracted to — and that it might not be them.

While the last seems innocuous enough, it removes any agency on the part of men. Incels see themselves as small cogs in some great machine. They believe themselves to be insignificant and therefore correct in their cynical attitude.

The way I see it, The Black Pill is meant to be overcome. It's not supposed to be a permanent state of mind, but a place to dwell in thought and realization with the ultimate goal to come out stronger on the other side, filled with meaning and drive.

It’s no secret that women get more attention on social media and dating apps than men. But Blackpillers shouldn’t let themselves be destroyed by the landscape of modern dating. This mindset should stay with you as a constant reminder of why you should look forward with confidence as opposed to rotting away in depression, desperation, and sadness.

Closing Thoughts

Incels aren’t victims. Inceldom clearly does, however, lead to mental illness and a misanthropic mindset.

An incel believes that Reddit’s advice to “hit the gym” doesn’t work. They waste days playing video games when they could be watching YouTube lectures or learning valuable skills online.

Incels are weak men — and this is very bad for us as a society. As the old saying goes ‘strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times, hard times create strong men.’

I’d say we’re finishing up ‘creating weak men’ in that adage.

As Carl Jung asserts in his book “Aion” it isn’t strong men you should be afraid of, but weak men. These are the men who lie, cheat and steal. Unfortunately, we’re living in a society that is mass-manufacturing weak men.

And I get it. We don’t live in a perfect meritocracy. If I was born with a physical disability or a deformed face I definitely wouldn’t be able to do everything I do today. Confidence is key, and appearance helps tremendously with that.

But you have to try. You can’t just say, “well, I have no chance with women because I’m ugly and the studies prove it. My life is over.” That kind of mindset is how society crumbles.

We need strong men—more than ever, in fact. More than that, we need wise men who can pair their intelligence with real-world experience.

Besides, in my experience, a cynical attitude is intelligent, plausible, and sometimes even acceptable. But it’s also pathetic.