Barbie Is a Weaponized Icon

Since when did feminists start liking Barbie?

Source

I feel like Barbie was the Waterloo of the cultural war. It’s the wokest movie of the year by far and just made half a billion in one week. Get woke, go broke ...I guess?

Last week, I caught Barbie alongside my 15-year-old sister after succumbing to the Barbiehemier hype. I gotta admit, it was really entertaining. The songs were catchy; the cinematography kino. Sure, there were some heavy-handed banal parts like a dude smacking the iconic doll's ass (played by Margot Robbie) and Venice Beach skaters treating her like a 1950s housewife—also the use of "patriarchy" more than ten times.

But overall, I had fun. And since it was a "kid's movie," I wasn't going to write about it because that's lame.

Well, here's the thing: Greta Gerwig’s $145 million Barbie movie is not for children.

This movie isn't for the young women who loved playing with Barbies. It's for the angry generation who despise the doll's outdated feminine ideals.

I feel like I went back to college and got a lesson in critical race theory, with a dose of gender studies, all while being told I'm a piece of shit.

Barbie is Gasoline All Over America

In the film, Barbie and Ken (played by Ryan Gosling) go to the real world and pretty much every man they encounter is a sexist, catcalling, macho, huge gas car-driving piece of shit that orders women around and treats them like an object. Ken slowly realizes that the real world is a "patriarchy" that puts men in every position of power and excludes women.

There is even a montage with men doing men stuff such as weightlifting, golfing etc. shown in a negative light.

Ken then gets some books about the patriarchy from a school and goes back to Barbieland and brainwashes Barbies to put patriarchy there. Then the "stereotypical Margot Robbie Barbie" that went into the real world comes back and pretty much makes everything go back the way it was by un-brainwashing everyone, except Barbies are now nicer to Kens in the end.

Who the hell is this movie for?

Kids? Adults?

This movie isn't for people. It's not for human beings. Seriously. It's for ideologues who want to see a movie that confirms their beliefs.

And where you see this most of all is in the ending that suggests men and women are better off not together but hyper-individualized and self-sufficient.

Men and women are better apart, not together.

I mean, damn. Talk about jaded self-satisfying bullshit.

What's also important to point out is that most men are not presidents or business leaders or are on statues either.

The truth is women and men are more equal than ever, but it was worth fuck all in the grand scheme of things. We’re all still slaves to a corporate and clandestine fascist government machine and Barbie misses that mark entirely.

(side note: funny that a fucking Barbie movie found it apt to address these points in the first place)

Will You Learn From the Fallen Kendom?

The Barbie movie is confusing. Sometimes it's satire making fun of ideas like the patriarchy (one character says we as people constructed it); other times, it's like a college student wrote the script and is taking the ideas seriously.

America Ferrera of Ugly Betty fame delivers one of those self-indulgent self-satisfying moments 2-hours into the film:

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people.” (this is only half of the speech)

Subject matter aside, is this the worst-written speech in film history?

My cousin saw this film in an inner-city with an all-Black audience and people walked out of the movie and the woman beside her said "That wasn't a kid's film."

If nothing else, the Barbie movie and the massive amount of Western female support for it reveals the mass psychosis that Western women are currently suffering from. This incoherent googoogaga nonsense message being met with a "yass queen" really reveals how deeply divided women and men are—American Decadence 101.

Is the movie talking to kids, telling them not to believe in traditional gender roles or something like that? Is it a lesson in gender theory for adults, trying to show us how oppressive the patriarchy can be? Or is it just another way for Mattel and Hollywood to make a shit ton of money on dolls and movie tickets?

And for the record, I don't think this is bad as someone like Ben Shapiro or any conservative pundit is making it out to be. It has great moments. But it's also very full of itself, frustrating, and is most likely satanic. That is all.

---